In the 1990s an inspiring system of family therapy workshops were introduced from Europe to the UK. The work is a profound tool for healing and resolving personal and family difficulties and relationships. I began to work and train in the Hellinger Family Systems approach in 1995. I believe that if I had come across this work myself much earlier in my life, much trauma and unhappiness could have been resolved, resulting in a much better quality of life across three generations.
Bert Hellinger of Germany devised this inspiring family systems therapy, which is now world-wide.
The work can be carried out on an individual basis or in workshops for anyone interested in resolving personal, relationship or family difficulties and tensions. Hellinger’s work evolves from extensive experience with families all over the world, where he noticed that within a family system there are certain “orders” or hidden dynamics that need to be respected and put into place before tensions and “entanglements” (dysfunction) can be resolved. If the correct orders within the family system are out of place all kinds of problems can occur, usually affecting the most vulnerable people coming later in the family, the children.
The beauty about the work is that it is a brief therapy oriented towards resolution. The work quickly reveals dynamics that bind a person to his or her relationship system in a dysfunctional way, constraining personal development. Hellinger-work is fitting for all who seek to improve relationships in all areas of family & work, and to identify patterns within their family system that have kept them stuck. To work on a family problem it is not necessary or usual to have your family at the workshop. It is more usual to go alone or perhaps as a couple.
Bert Hellinger’s work is based on the fact that however much pain and trauma there is within a family, there is always a source of love and healing and this is what he seeks to release to flow in the right direction.
In the constellation family work, no one is attacked and no one is blamed. Instead, respect for the individual and the family and a loving and supportive stance establishes a spiritual quality not apparent within most other psychotherapies. This enables those feeling vulnerable to present their themes and work with them in a safe context.
Hellinger noted a strong tendency in us to use our strength to suffer, to hold onto our problems rather than to be able to move into solutions. Why should it seem preferable to us to suffer than to heal?
When we go down the path of destruction or suffering, Hellinger believes we do so with a love and strong loyalty to our family. Although we may be angry and hurt, it is this love’s energy that keeps us entangled. It is the same energy that heals but the love needs to be expressed at a different level of consciousness.
Within the family there is this loyalty, a fellowship of fate, a hidden conscience. It is expressed most strongly by children towards their parents, between siblings and between partners. If someone is ill, for example, owing to this bond of loyalty one of the children may unconsciously try to hold onto the sick person and to stay close by becoming ill or compensating by failing to thrive himself.
Particularly if a family member has died young or in tragic circumstances, or if there are “secrets” and things not talked about, if people are excluded, disowned, not acknowledged, somebody more vulnerable within the family system may quite unconsciously try to feel close to them, moving into positions they should not try to be in, for example a child feeling responsible for a parent, which creates a lack of personal growth, even illness.
In a family constellation the client chooses representatives from the group of people present to represent the most important members of the family system, for example, father, mother, siblings and also to represent him/herself. These representatives are most often unknown to the client. The representatives begin to have feelings which seem to be connected to the actual people they are representing.
The healing potential coming from the inherent wisdom in this “knowing field” as hidden dynamics come to light can be liberating, powerful, profound and inspiring for participants and observers. New and unexpected perspectives begin to allow the love to flow where it was previously blocked, and this can help access solutions that affect the wellbeing of present and future generations.
- Understand your family system from a wider and more informed perspective
- Identify hidden information that can unblock the flow of love
- Unravel personal issues embedded in family entanglements
- Access the healing potential inherent in the family field
No prior knowledge of this way of working is needed for these workshops.
My husband John has always shown much interest in the work and has attended many workshops. Eventually in 2000 John joined in the training course organised by the HELLINGER INSTITUTE OF BRITAIN. John provides the brains and knowledge while Christine provides the experience and instinct.
Family Constellations Workshops
PERSONAL ISSUES, RELATIONSHIPS, EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTIES, WORK/LIFE PROBLEMS, FAMILY & RECOVERY ISSUES, CHANGE OF DIRECTION & MOTIVATION
| Location: | Hemel Hempstead |
| Dates: | 26th & 27th April 26th & 27th July 25th & 26th October 13th & 14th December |